January 2012
3 posts
3 tags
In Which My Credibility As a Human is Doubted
Me: (to a waitress) Actually, we're going to forgo dessert. Can we just have the check please?
Him: Did you just say "forgo"? You know you're on Planet Earth, right?
2 tags
“Whherw are ju?”
– The text he sent me this morning after his oral surgery while I was getting his prescriptions filled.
4 tags
On literary fandom
Me: Oops. It looks like Neil Gaiman went through the Aziraphale tag on Tumblr and got a face full of Good Omen's slash.
Him: Pssh. Good Omens is Good Omens slash.
May 2011
1 post
His thoughts on yaoi.
“Fangirl is just another word for NAMBLA.”
April 2011
1 post
On shopping for brand name bags.
Me: Ooh, Betsy Johnson!
Him: A family company.
February 2011
2 posts
On movie preferences.
Him: Sometimes I forget you haven't seen Star Wars.
Me: I've seen all six movies.
Him: But you didn't like them, which means you saw them wrong.
In which it would be funnier if it weren't true.
Me: I have to read another long, law article for my capstone class and I can't bring myself to start it.
Him: I saw a man die for my capstone class, so suck it up.
January 2011
1 post
ON THE STREET
tomywife:
I’ll walk on the subway grates so you don’t have to.
Something my husband makes fun of me for. Nyah.
December 2010
1 post
On I don't sell drugs, okay?
Me: Oh crap, I was going to buy a phone card today and I forgot. Dammit.
Him: I'm sorry to hear that, drug dealer.
October 2010
1 post
In which I take a break from posting quotes.
Hey guys, just a quick note for the few of you who have followed recently! I wanted to take some time to pimp some other “things so’n’so said” Tumblrs.
http://thingsmyasianboyfriendsays.tumblr.com/
http://crapmygirlfriendsays.tumblr.com/
And the one my husband runs about the dumb things I say: http://thingsmywifesays.tumblr.com/
September 2010
1 post
On retaining signatures of those who are famous.
Me: Oh, by the way, Yuki's [Nagato, from The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya] seiyuu is going to at the New York Anime Fest. You want me to get anything signed for you?
Him: Besides your tits?
July 2010
1 post
On Song Parodies
“Don’t give me that. I’m trying to turn the songs from Les Mis into songs about brushing your teeth. I don’t have a lot to work with here!”
March 2010
1 post
On... what?
“Are you really Tina Fey? You have to tell me or it’s entrapment.”
January 2010
1 post
On our mutual interests
Me: I want to see Bo Burnham's stand up special. Can you find it online anywhere?
Him: I'm not going to be an enabler. I'm not going to enable your Bo Burnham addiction.
Me: You like him too!
Him: Yes, but only on my cock.
November 2009
1 post
On the "Beautiful Soul" music video
“Oh ha ha, we’re leaving our friend behind at a gas station! He’ll probably get raped by a trucker!”
October 2009
1 post
On his love life before us
His former roommate: Hey, someone on your phone named "azn girl nicole" called you like six times while you were out.
Him: I cannot tell you how much I've wanted to hear that. Like. Ever.
September 2009
1 post
On multitasking
“I don’t see how listening to you and pretending I’m an elephant are mutually exclusive activities.”
On good food
“Treacle makes everything better. It’s margarine’s sexy older sister with very few inhibitions and a bi-curious mindset.”
August 2009
5 posts
On making a marriage of equals
My Husband: You know, when we get married, I think we should both change our names to a new one.
Me: What names did you have in mind?
My Husband: Just one: "Death."
On bringing sexy back
Me: Corsets are pretty. But look very odd outside of 18th century England.
My Husband: Fuck that. We'll bring 'em back. Just like we did with 'sexy.'
Me: We? I thought that was Justin Timberlake?
My Husband: Psyche. We did it.
On finding a dance partner
My Husband: Okay, then what should I tell her 'about myself' and 'why i'm interested'?
Me: That... you're interested in ballroom dancing and that you won't grab her ass?
My Husband: Should I mention that? You'd think it'd be self evident, and mentioning it calls into question it's obviousness. Like "If it makes you feel any better, I don't have a gun."
On my awful memory
“I just figured you’d forget about it five minutes later like you always do, you goldfish!”